The Devil Wears an Apron (Complete, a story written for me!)
by I hate the snow
Summary: A story written just for me!


**The Devil Wears An Apron**

 **King_RG**

 **Summary:**

Life in the Grimes household isn't as happy as the community thinks. Lori Grimes comes off as a nice woman, loving mother, and caring wife, but what is she like, really?

Fic written just for NaughtyNicky.

 **Notes:**

For NaughtyNicky.

Because NaughtyNicky is such an amazing writer I decided to write something just for her because she inspired me so much! Lol hehehehe. I really hope you enjoy it, Nicky.

*Please note this fic is in no way how the author/s feel about Lori Grimes but written in a way we thought NaughtyNicky would really enjoy. This does not reflect our feelings on this character in the slightest. This is a CRACK fic.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

 **Work Text:**

Lori Grimes was awake but she didn't want to be. Another morning spent in Hell, that's how she looked at it. Even after two cups of hot coffee and a long, hot shower, she still wasn't perking up. Summer had come to Georgia cruel and fast, bringing not just insufferable temperatures, but kids too. Carl was out of school and Lori couldn't think of a worse type of torture for any stay at home mother. Two months straight of him wearing on her nerves, running in and out of the house, looking towards her to keep him amused while she cleaned up after him, chauffeured him to play dates, cooked all three of his meals, and whatever other type of punishment the good Lord seen fit. Lori had better things to do.

"Mom, can I have a bowl of cereal?"

The question was the first thing Carl greeted her with the moment she came downstairs and Lori knew it wasn't going to be a good day.

"Your arms broken?" Lori snapped, already feeling her frustrations rising with how helpless her son was. How had he gotten so damn helpless? Rick. Carl was growing up to be just as weak as his daddy, a thought that made Lori's blood boil. Or maybe it was just thinking of Rick that made Lori feel like throwing something again, their fight from the night before was still fresh in her mind.

It'd been a good one too. At least from where she was standing. Rick was probably at work, licking his wounds, telling that damn woman his sob story. But Lori didn't have time for sob stories and she wasn't going to let Carl grow up acting the same way either. She'd make a man out of the boy even if his father couldn't.

"You can pour your own damn cereal," Lori told the little boy in front her, the one with her hair and Rick's eyes. Maybe that could be the only thing he got from his sperm donor, Lori thought to herself, already walking towards the living room.

"And don't you dare make a damn mess, I just cleaned that kitchen."

She plopped down on the couch, already reaching for the pack of Marlboros she hid in her bra. Rick didn't know she smoked but maybe she would change that. Maybe instead of flicking her ashes into her empty coffee cup and washing it out later, she'd flick them right there in the floor and watch him clean it up when he got home.

By the time she turned the TV on and found As the World Turns, Carl was already finished with his cereal, devouring every bit like he hadn't eaten in hours. Which was when Lori realized the truth - he hadn't. It was noon and her son was just now eating his breakfast, a thought that made Lori shrug. It would teach him to make his own damn food, something else his father couldn't do. Rick Grimes was useless as far as Lori was concerned.

"Mom, can I go outside and play?" Carl asked from the kitchen.

"You better, I'm not sitting here and playing any fucking Candyland. Wash those damn dishes first, I'm not your maid."

When she heard the water turn on, Lori smiled to herself, propping her feet up on the coffee table. She waited until Carl finally ran outside to light the cigarette she'd been rolling between her fingers, turning up the volume so if he yelled out for her she wouldn't have to hear him. She wasn't in the mood to tend to any skinned knees or busted lips from a bicycle fall. Carl would have to take care of it himself if he was ever gonna be worth anything.

The picture on her TV was blurry, something else that pissed Lori off. The Andersons next door had HD and Blu-rays, a swimming pool, and a nanny. All things that Rick had promised her, all things he'd never delivered on. Maybe Pete Anderson did knock Jessie around a few times but Lori understood why a spouse could deserve it. Hell, she'd just blackened Rick's eye the night before. That's what he got for all the promises he'd failed to keep, leaving her home alone to tend to his crotch fruit while he got to play cops and robbers, a job that barely brought the bacon, home much less HD.

Lori took a deep hit from her cigarette, exhaling the smoke as she cackled at the people on her television. Maybe she'd sneak away while Carl was outside and grab a bottle of wine, maybe she'd drink it all before Rick got home.

Rick patted at the swollen, blackened tissue around his eye. His wife had a wicked left hook. He knew. She was always using it against him. It wouldn't be long before Lori was using it against their son Carl, too. He was eleven years old. Lori believed that at twelve a boy was a man and she hit men. She also told Rick that they were gonna get a whore for Carl's 12th birthday. Every man should have fucked a whore at least once in his life, she said, and Carl couldn't be a man without fucking a whore on his 12th birthday.

"What happened, Rick?"

His partner fighting crime, Michonne, looked at him with doe-eyed concern. She was so pretty. Every man on the force wanted her. If he was honest with himself, he had a little crush. Of course he'd never ever act on it. He was a man of honor, and Michonne was a woman of integrity. Their attraction was something they simply would never be able to act on. Rick didn't believe in divorce unless there was infidelity. Lori hadn't cheated on him so he couldn't divorce her.

"Nothing," he said, hanging his head. "I ran into a door."

It was end of shift and here he was using the same old excuse he'd heard countless battered women use. He was different. He was a man and…

"Rick, I recognize the signs of domestic abuse. You being a man doesn't make it okay."

"Am I, Michonne? Am I a real man? Look at me. Look what my own wife has done to me!"

"Oh, Rick," Michonne said. She lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Of course you're a real man. You're the best man I know. Never forget that. You're a pillar of the community, a real hero to so many."

"I don't suppose you'd come home with me for dinner? You could meet Lori and Carl."

Michonne had always wanted to meet the woman who couldn't appreciate the good man she'd been blessed with. She nodded and they jumped into their cars to head to his house.

When Rick came home he had only one thing he wanted: To see how his son was doing. The poor boy would have to be home with her most of the day and that worried Rick. What if she did something to him? They heard Lori's voice as soon as they got onto the porch. Rick opened the door and there he saw his son and wife.

Carl was huddled in a corner, kneeling down with hands above his head while Lori slapped at him, screaming. He was a little dirty from playing outside. Not too bad; nothing to warrant this kind of a reaction from Lori.

"You stupid little shit! What am I the family maid? LOOK AT YOU! You're filthy! You come in here tracking your dirt into my house! You're so stupid, just like your father! Don't you have any brains in your skull, Carl?"

The house was a mess. Dirty dishes everywhere, clothes scattered all over the floor. There was a haze of cigarette smoke in the air and an empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. Nearly a full pack of cigarettes worth of butts and ashes was stubbed out directly on the table.

"Lori!"

She swirled around and almost lost her balance. Her eyes were bright with rage and madness. Her hair was all messy and frizzy. She wasn't wearing a bra and he saw some nipple through the thin material of her shirt.

"Who the fuck is she?" Lori demanded.

"This is my work partner. Michonne."

"Oh, so this is the darkie partner you've been fucking behind my back, huh?" Lori demanded. "How dare you bring your filthy whore here!"

"Mrs. Grimes," Michonne said calmly. She was the picture of reason despite the ugly accusations and racial slurs thrown at her by Rick's wife. "Perhaps you'd like to lie down, take a nap?"

"Fuck you, you ugly black whore! Slut!" She rounded on Rick. "I've been in the kitchen slaving away over dinner for you and you bring one of her kind in here?"

She stalked into the kitchen. Rick and Michonne followed. There were two banquet meals that had been microwaved and a Hungry Man Salisbury Steak. Rick hated Salisbury Steak meals. Especially from Hungry Man.

"Lori, please calm down."

"You wanna eat, sweetheart?" she said, picking up the Hungry Man. "Share it with your slut!"

Lori hurled the food, which was hot from the microwave, at Rick and Michonne. Then she screamed like a crazy person and flew at Rick, who was wiping scalding hot mashed potatoes out of his hair. She was scratching at him, punching and kicking. He fell under the assault while Carl cried pitifully in the corner.

"Please Mom! Stop it!"

"You shut up you filthy little shit!" Lori screamed at Carl. "You're next just as soon as I'm done with him!"

Carl curled into a tighter ball and wept.

"I'm sorry but you've gone too far. This is assault," Michonne said. She wrestled Lori's hands behind her back. "I hate to do this to you, Mrs. Grimes, but you leave me no choice. You're under arrest for assaulting two police officers. You have the right to remain silent…"

Lori sat in the jail cell, the scent of alcohol and cigarettes oozing out of her every pore. She'd get Rick back, Rick and that damn whore he'd brought to their home. Her home. That's what it was really. Lori spent her days cleaning the shoebox up, decorating it with their stupid family pictures, that house was more hers than the man who was paying for it. And she'd make sure of that.

She was still trying to decide if she wanted Carl or not when she heard the heavy footsteps approach the holding cell. The boy could prove to be useful but did she really want a child of Rick's? Did she really want a stupid animal that couldn't clean up after himself? Lori felt no love for Carl, she never had. Oh sure she'd faked the smiles while they were out in public but she'd never forgiven that boy for ripping her pussy straight down to her asshole. By the time Lt. Negan had reached the bars, Lori was lost in memories, memories of her nursing Carl and smacking his little round cheeks every time he had the audacity to bite down on her breast, pulling the hair right out of his scalp every time he woke her in the middle of the night.

"You got a hell of a list of charges, lady," Lt. Negan spoke, pulling Lori from her boozed induced memories. "Assault, child endangerment, assault of two police officers..."

His words really had no effect on Lori. Instead she straightened up, brushed a few frizzy hairs out of her blood shot eyes and staggered over to stand in front of him. The jail bars were the only thing separating them but Lori knew nothing would stand in the way of her plan.

"Lt. if you'd just let me explain," Lori begged, drawing from the characters she'd just watched that afternoon and sobbing like her life depended on it. "I know I misbehaved but I just couldn't help myself. I had my reasons."

She started wailing. Loud sobs that echoed off the concrete walls, an occasional crocodile tear making its way down her face.

When Negan refused to respond to her statements, Lori peeked one eye open before shutting it again, making sure he was watching and continued the show. She hunched over and grabbed her belly, dropping to her knees as her sobs overtook her. Finally, when her throat was sore from all the noise she was making, Lori opened her eyes and made her case.

"He rapes me, Lt. Negan," Lori whispered, wiping the snot from her face as she lied. "Almost every night. Rick seems like a good man but that's because he takes his demons out on me. He beats me when I don't iron his underwear, he spits on me when I forget to take the trash out. He even made me use his dirty toilet paper as a tampon when I asked for cash to buy some. One night he raped me in front of my own mama, that's why she passed away from heart failure. She just couldn't take it...knowing I was with such a monster."

Lori looked up at Lt. Negan, letting out a loud belch before batting her eyelashes.

"You expect me to believe that fuckery?" Negan asked and Lori could see the gears turning in his head.

Lt. Negan had a reputation around town for being a nasty man, something that suited Lori just fine. She was a nasty woman. Negan didn't do anything unless he got something in return and Lori knew just what the big man needed.

"You gotta believe me, I'm innocent. I'm a good woman, I'll show you."

Lori reached her hand out and began rubbing over Negan's dick in his jeans. It didn't take long for him to grow hard, unbuckle his belt, and pop his dick out right there, shoving it through the bars. And Lori sucked that cock like her life depended on it, like it was the tastiest cock she'd ever sucked. She hummed and deep throated, licked his balls and told him how big he was. By the time Negan shot his cum down her throat, Lori's own pussy was wet. Nothing turned her on more than sucking a dirty old dick.

"Ma'am, I believe you," Negan said once he'd zipped himself back up. "You go on home and get your boy, and I'll see to Rick."

Lori was up off her knees in no time, walking out of the jail cell after Negan unlocked it. She smiled as she collected her belongings from the front desk. Nothing would stop her from getting back at Rick. Not that disgusting dirty whore who'd arrested her, not the son that she'd turn against him, not even the crusty drop of jizz that had dried on the corner of Lori's mouth.

Michonne helped Rick clean up the house that night. Carl took a shower and got cleaned up but he was so sad and so afraid, he just wanted to sit in his room. He was scared his mother was going to come home and kill him and his dad.

"How would you like to go out for dinner?" Michonne asked him, coming to stand in the doorway.

Carl's empty tummy growled in response. He nodded but looked scared. Michonne wondered when was the last time he ate. He told her a bowl of cereal that afternoon.

"We'll get pizza," Michonne said, and he squeezed her hand tightly. "Ice cream after, if you like."

He was too afraid to talk but he liked Michonne. She'd saved his dad, and him, from his mom. She was like a hero. One who was pretty and strong and not even scared of his mom. She was so brave. She was also nice because kids had senses and he could sense she wasn't just pretending to be nice like his mom did when they were out in public. She really was nice whether they were being watched or not.

Dinner wasn't as fun as it could have been. The cloud of Lori's anger and abuse hung over everything. Carl looked at the other kids who were having fun at the arcade games and wished he could have fun, too, but he was just too sad inside. His mother had put that sadness in him. His whole life had been just one cruel word, a slap, a punch, hair pulling, incident after another. He didn't know much about life but he knew mommies were supposed to be nice to their kids and love them. His mommy didn't. He knew that was wrong, deep inside his heart, but there was nothing he could do to change her, either.

Michonne was really different. She always had a nice word, a smile, and played games with him until their pizza got there. When they ate she put a slice on his plate and told him he could eat as much as he wanted. He couldn't eat much, though. He didn't get a lot of food and his stomach was too small to handle much, but Michonne said they could take the pizza home and he could eat more when he was hungry. His dad said he could even have a slice for breakfast.

When they got home that night he didn't want her to leave. He was scared his mommy would come out of the closet and kill him. Michonne agreed to sleep on the couch and keep an eye out for them.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, son?" Rick asked, when he tucked Carl in for the night. "Can you marry Michonne and make her my mommy instead?"

"I can't promise anything like that, son. It sure would be nice to have a nice mommy, wouldn't it?"

Carl nodded, sad that Michonne couldn't move in and take his real mom's place. He turned over, feeling safe for the first time, knowing Michonne was there and would protect him and his dad that night.

Rick went to the living room with a blanket and pillow for Michonne. "Thank you for staying over," he said. "It means a lot to Carl."

"I'm glad to. Rick, I know you don't believe in divorce but you gotta think about what's best for Carl. Do it for him. Get him away from that woman."

"You know the courts. They'll always give custody of the kids to the mother."

"Not with something like this going on. You've gotta start reporting her abuse."

"And have the other guys laughing at me and calling me a pussy for not being able to handle my wife?" he said.

"What's more important? Your pride or your son?" Michonne said sagely.

God she was beautiful. He wished he could have a wife like Michonne…or actually have Michonne for a wife. Maybe she was right. Maybe he did need to be strong and leave Lori for Carl's sake. Maybe they could have a life.

"Already cheating with your whore, I see?"

Rick froze. Lori was home. How had she gotten out of jail so fast?

Michonne had never witnessed such a scene. Lori Grimes was supposed to be in jail, being fringer printed and charged. She was not supposed to be standing in Rick's living room with a scowl on her face and a vein popping out of her neck. The woman looked tore up from the floor up with her dirtied Apron from dinner still tied around her waist, but Michonne kept those thoughts to herself.

"What are you doing here?" Rick asked his wife and Michonne recognized the confusion in his voice, she was just as stumped.

How had this woman gotten away with what she'd done? Who had let her out?

"I'm here because I LIVE HERE, MOTHERFUCKER!" Lori screamed in Rick's direction. "This is my FUCKING HOUSE TOO OR DID YOU FORGET?"

Before either of them could get a word out or ask her to tone it down for Carl's sake, Lori kept at, yelling and screaming while her spit flew in every which direction.

"You trying to replace me already, Rick?" She asked. "You PLANNING ON FUCKING THAT WHORE IN MY HOUSE?! YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH, YOU'LL NEVER FUCK ANYBODY AGAIN. NOT AFTER WHAT I DID."

Lori was seething and Michonne desperately wanted to know what the other woman meant. What had Lori done? It couldn't possibly be good. She watched Rick's head turn in confusion, his poor eye still black and blue. He didn't ask though, but who could when Lori was making such a spectacle? Michonne just prayed that little Carl stayed in bed and didn't have to witness his mother behaving this way.

The woman had pulled her dress all the way up to her waist, revealing everything underneath. Lori wasn't wearing any panties and her privates were on full to display to Rick and Michonne. Michonne had never seen such an unkempt vagina, Lori's pubes growing crazy and wild, a few lint balls stuck in the hair.

"YOU SEE THIS PUSSY?" Lori screamed. "You'll never touch this sweet pussy ever again!"

She stayed like, screaming and yelling, all the while she thrusted her hips provocatively in Rick's direction. Michonne wanted her to stop and not just for Carl or Rick's sake. At this point Michonne was worried about Lori too. Lori's skinny, pale little legs looked like they were about to give out from all that gyrating she was doing and just before she made a movement to stop her, Lori's hips slowed their rolls until she stood still, unkempt pussy still exposed.

"I came for our son, Rick Grimes. I'm taking him with me and you'll never see the light of the day again, you stupid piece of shit. I told everybody, Rick. I told Lt. Negan the truth about who you are."  
Michonne had never seen such a crazy look in anyone's eyes as Lori's. Blood vessels had popped, her brown hair was sticking up in every direction, her dress still bunched up around her waist. But Lori's words were actually more distracting. They didn't sound good at all.

"What did you tell him, Lori?" Rick asked and MIchonne could hear the fear in his voice. She hated it. She wished she could make this woman disappear, that she could care for Rick and Carl the way they deserved.

And she would. She promised herself she wouldn't leave that home until she was positive both of them were safe.

"I told him how you rape me." Lori whispered. But it didn't take long for the volume to rise again.

Michonne watched as Lori pulled a cigarette from her bra and lit it before continuing on her rampage.

"I TOLD HIM HOW YOU RAPE YOUR WIFE, RICK! I told him about ironing your underpants and beating me! He didn't believe me at first, of course."

Michonne felt her body sigh in relief but it didn't last very long. Lori was still standing there smoking, flicking ashes every which way, some even landing in her pubes. It felt silly, but Michonne found herself wondering what else was hidden in that bush. The silly thought was short lived too though, especially after hearing Lori's next words.

"But I blew him off and he let me go. Said he'll take care of you!" Lori went on, pointing her bony finger in Rick's face. "You dumb motherfucker, you stupid piece of shit, you'll never see Carl again except to send me checks. This is my house and you and your dumb whore need to get the fuck out!"

"Lori, that's enough - "

But Rick's words were cut short. There came another bang on the door and Michonne ran towards it. Who could it be now?

****  
The last person Michonne expected was their boss, Negan, and she didn't know what to expect when he arrived. Lori still stood there with her skirts stupidly bunched up and Rick was trying his best not to cry. He hated her pussy. It was as scary as Lori was, and it smelled bad. There were times he thought he saw things crawling around in the hair. God...there was just so much hair!

"Where is she? Where is that fucking bitch!" Lt. Negan demanded.

He pushed his way into the house and saw Lori standing there with her pussy on display.

"Fucking hell!" he shouted. "Is that your pussy? I can't believe I was gonna...fuuuuck!"

Rick was relieved Lori had cheated on him. He could now divorce her with a clean conscience.

"What do you want?" Lori shouted.

Michonne couldn't risk Carl seeing a monster snatch like Lori's. Especially since it belonged to his own mother. It would make him afraid of vaginas forever. She yanked Lori's skirts down and barely dodged a blow.

"Back off you black whore! I'm letting her get some air."

"Well, stop, your making the rest of us sick and afraid," Rick said.

"Why did you let her out, Sir?" Michonne asked. "You have to know Rick would never, ever rape her."

"I know he wouldn't rape her now. After seeing that shit," Negan admitted. "I only believed her cause she sucked my cock. Wasn't an hour later I started fucking itching."

Negan undid his belt and unzipped. What he revealed was a hot mess of a nightmare. Michonne gasped and backed away. She and Rick clutched at one another. Rick even reached for his sidearm, just in case.

"Look at my dick, Rick! Look at it!"

Rick and Michonne started to gag when the smell hit. Negan's dick looked oddly yellow. It also looked like scales had started to develop, because there was sort of a rainbow effect, and pus oozed from the tip. It hung down in a thick string before Lori reached out and wiped it off...and then ate it."

"Tastes okay to me," she said.

Rick and Michonne vomited up their pizza.

"What did you do to me? What's wrong with my fucking dick? How did this happen from a blowjob?"

"I've got gingivitis and whitetrashitis," Lori explained. "I got a side job whoring from the internet. It ain't deadly, so quit complaining you little bitch boy!"

"Dad?" Carl called.

"Stay in your room, Son. For the love of God, Carl, don't come out here!" Rick answered, wiping at his mouth.

"Please, Sir, put it away," Michonne said.

"This is why I always use condoms," said Rick. "Always. I never hurt her, Sir."

Negan obliged and tucked his dick away. He pulled out the cuffs. "I know you didn't, Rick. Your nightmares are over. Come on. You're going away for a long time."

Negan hauled Lori from the house. She screamed at him the whole way. When Rick have Carl permission to come out, he hugged his son while Michonne sprayed Febreeze to try to get rid of the stink.

"Pack your bags, boys. We're gonna stay at my house a few days."

One Year Later

Rick woke up to the smell of bacon frying and a smile immediately formed on his face. He could hear Carl and Michonne downstairs, cooking breakfast together as a family. It didn't take him long to get dressed and take the steps down, two at a time. He was starving from all the love making he and Michonne had partaken in the night before, and a big meal sounded like heaven.

"G'morning beautiful," Rick said as soon as got into the kitchen, walking up behind Michonne to plant a kiss a on her shoulder. "Something smells good."

"It better," Michonne teased, giving Rick a quick peck too. "Carl and I have been cooking all morning."

"Oh really, what's the occasion?" Rick asked.

"No special occasion. I'm just a happy wife cooking breakfast for her man."

"Happy son too," Carl added.

Even after a year Rick still felt like Michonne was just too good to him. It had taken a long time for him to believe her when she said this was how normal people behaved. Wives cooked their husbands breakfasts, children smiled in the morning, families ate together, husbands went to work happy and counted down the hours until they could see their wives again. He still struggled with it, even on mornings like this one.

Mornings where he sat down at the kitchen table to a beautiful spread of food, one that made his mouth water. Michonne had out done herself like always. There was toast, bacon, sausage, biscuits, gravy, pancakes, fresh fruit, and freshly squeezed orange juice. The dishes were clean and not like the Styrofoam that Lori had always used.

Rick waited to dig in until everyone was seated, just like he did every other morning. They would dig in, Rick would clean up to give his beautiful new wife a break, and later they'd go into town for a movie, some mini golf, and then clothes shopping. Michonne was doing almost too good of a job at keeping her new family fed, both Rick and Carl needed new jeans to accommodate their growing waistlines. Not that Rick was worried. He'd work the extra pounds off in the bedroom and Carl had needed desperately needed the nourishment.

"Should we say a blessing?" Carl asked once they were all seated. "Or can I just dig in, I'm starving."

"Just dig in, we can say a blessing later." Michonne instructed, shooting Carl a playful wink.

Rick watched his son smile, the boy's eager fork already claiming a pancake. And just when Rick was about to thank the wonderful woman in front of him for being so understanding, Carl beat him to it.

"Thanks, Mom."

 **Notes:**

This fic was co-authored by ColtAndKatana


End file.
